


Daddy issues

by boleyn13



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anger, Drama, Father Figures, Gen, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Secret Crush, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 20:54:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11471505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boleyn13/pseuds/boleyn13
Summary: “I’m just trying to be a good mentor, to act somewhat like a father.““I don’t want you to be my father!”Tony tell Peter how much he means to him and it's not what Peter wants





	Daddy issues

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everybody,
> 
> I haven't seen Homecoming yet, so I gotta pass time and write this little oneshot - enjoy :)

“I’m just trying to be a good mentor, to act somewhat like a father.“

“I don’t want you to be my father!”

Peter hadn’t intended to yell or lose his composure in front of Mr. Stark. To be honest, it was the last thing he ever wanted to do around him and yet he couldn’t control it. One second Peter hated himself for the simple fact that those words got to him so easily. That they could evoke such a harsh, almost violent reaction when they only proved that Mr. Stark cared about him. What was there more to ask for except… everything?

The blood was racing through his veins, he could feel it pulsing, making him dizzy, and causing him to shake. Maybe Peter was lying to himself, because he did feel the urge to yell, scream, spit or perhaps even to punch the wall. It was not fair.

Then everything changed again in the next second. The hurt look on Mr. Stark’s face, not trying to hide anything. Open pain and Peter was responsible for it. Suddenly Peter felt overwhelmed by sadness and shaking with rage at the same time. He hadn’t even known that was possible. Wanting to hug somebody and stroke their hair and hitting them.

Or kiss them to make them understand.

Mr. Stark dropped his hands and sighed, trying to put on a frustrated face. Act as if Peter’s rejection hadn’t hurt him. Peter wanted to burst into tears. “Okay… I guess that’s… right. I’m just a guy who brought you into a dangerous situation and now I have no right to tell you what to do. Got it…”

Now he was struggling for words and Peter was biting his tongue to not start shouting again. Mr. Stark was getting it all wrong.

“I just can’t help it, I feel responsible for you, kid.” The gentle somewhat guilty tone in his voice, almost as if he was apologizing. Peter wanted to pull his hair out. There was affection. Plain and real, written all over Mr. Stark’s face, in his beautiful brown eyes and it was the wrong kind. A hard slap in the face. Showing him a tiny glimpse of what he desperately longed for and making clear at the same time that Peter could never have it.

“I don’t want that! I don’t want a pat on the shoulder! Or you offering to help me with my homework or asking me if I like that girl who called me exactly one time because we’re doing a school project together! Don’t do that!” Peter’s voice was breaking. He was way too upset, it was time to get a grip, but it seemed impossible.

There was a visible change in Mr. Stark’s posture, straightening up as if he was finally trying to not show the effect Peter’s words had on him. “Okay, kid, I have ears. I’ve heard it the first time. I understand, I got it.”

“No, you don’t!” Peter’s breath exploded into a scream. “You don’t get it!”

This time Peter’s reaction was so fierce that Mr. Stark made half a step back and Peter could see him swallow. No, that wasn’t what he wanted. Every bit of distance that he brought between them felt wrong. Worse than a broken bone, piercing his skin. The result of his actions was exactly the opposite of what he was trying to achieve. If Peter could just keep his act together for five minutes. Instead he was driving him away, when Mr. Stark had only wanted to be nice to him. To show him that he was important to him. In the completely wrong way and it had only shown Peter how stuck he was. How Peter’s situation was.

Now Mr. Stark was again trying to calm him down. “Okay, Peter, it’s enough. I am not going to overstep the line again.”

Why did everything he was saying get under Peter’s skin? Every single word hit home and Peter felt a shiver running down his spine. The line. That fucking line. More like a wall. Invisible and yet so high that even Peter couldn’t climb it. Had he even tried yet? Was he expecting it to crumble down all on its own? In his fantasies Mr. Stark was erasing it from existence, by doing all the things that he clearly felt no desire to do.

Mr. Stark had said as much.

By balling his hands into fists Peter tried to stop his body from shaking. Completely in vain. For a second he actually thought he would start crying, Peter felt the tears burning in his eyes, but he couldn’t cry. How should Mr. Stark ever stop seeing him as a child if he couldn’t stop acting like one?

“I want you to cross the line…” Peter whispered under his breath, angry at himself that he couldn’t hold his head up high and say these words with real confidence. He meant them, he meant them more than anything else and yet he sounded afraid, almost embarrassed. How could Mr. Stark ever see anything else in him than a child? Too skinny, lanky and somewhat clumsy.

While Mr. Stark was smooth, elegant, oozing with confidence, charm and charisma. Such marvellous ebony eyes that always had a twinkle in them, challenging and full of joie de vivre. Not now though. Peter had made it disappear and that made him even more distraught than Mr. Stark seeing him as the son he had never had.

“What are you saying?” Mr. Stark was talking slowly, his eyebrows drawn together, frowning. There was a hint of understanding in his intonation, but Peter could see how he was already pushing it back. Of course, it couldn’t be, right? Mr. Stark would have never seen him that way. He couldn’t even imagine him like this right now. The wall was getting even higher and despite his abilities Peter wasn’t able to simply crawl over it. Like he had a thousand times.

“Nothing… I’m saying nothing…” Peter mumbled and he was so pathetic. Mr. Stark only saw what Peter was showing him – a scared, immature boy that needed to be tutored and mentored, rather than…

Than what? As long as Peter was too afraid to even say it out loud, none of it was real or could ever be real.

“Peter, I’m sorry…” Awkwardly Mr. Stark was trying to figure out what to say and he seemed so at loss. What was he sorry for? He had nothing to be sorry for. It was Peter’s fault for not being better, for only being a kid. It was his fault that he hadn’t been able to make Mr. Stark see him in a different light.

So now he was shocked, confused, couldn’t understand that Peter might actually not want to be taken under his wing, to be taught how to talk during a job interview, how to drive a car or how to talk to a girl. There were completely different things that Peter so longingly wished for Tony to show him.

Things that couldn’t be further from Mr. Stark’s mind who liked the wall just the way it was. Insurmountable.

“Don’t… just don’t, okay.” Again, not really what he wanted to say, but Peter couldn’t get them to pass his lips. Mr. Stark now took a step forward and Peter couldn’t take the look in his eyes. Shock Peter would have been able to deal with. Not pity. He couldn’t even put it past Mr. Stark to try and hug him to comfort him.

The mere thought was enough to cause Peter to turn around and run for the window. Mr. Stark was calling after him, but Peter kept running. It was the only way to go. Behind him there was only a wall.


End file.
